Retirement can stress a marriage
“My husband retired, and his constant sniffing drove me to divorce”
In a recent article, The Sunday Telegraph reported on how retirement can significantly impact relationships, often leading to challenges - and even divorce.
The Office for National Statistics (ONS) also recently reported a rise in divorce rates among those aged 65 and over, with predictions suggesting that nearly 10% of divorces by 2037 will involve ‘silver splitters.’
The Sunday Telegraph stated that Joanne Wescott, a family lawyer and managing partner at Osbornes Law, had noticed more retirees seeking her guidance in recent years.
So why does retirement have such an impact on marriages in later life?
Even with both positive and negative aspects, this time represents a significant life transition that often requires couples to renegotiate their roles, routines, and expectations. Here are some common reasons that retirement can affect long term relationships:
Increased Time Together
Retirement often means couples spend much more time together than before, which can either strengthen their bond or highlight unresolved issues. For some, it can lead to friction if personal space and individual pursuits are not respected.
Role Shifts
Many couples experience a shift in roles post-retirement. For example, a spouse who previously worked full-time may now take on more household responsibilities, which can create tension if not properly communicated. Similarly, if one partner continues to work while the other retires, it can create a sense of imbalance or misalignment in their lifestyles.
Financial Stress
The adjustment to a fixed income or managing retirement savings can introduce financial stress, especially if one partner feels differently about budgeting, spending, or long-term financial planning. Money management disagreements are a common source of conflict during retirement.
Identity Challenges
Work often forms a significant part of an individual’s identity. Retirees may struggle with a sense of purpose or self-worth after leaving their careers, which can lead to mood changes, withdrawal, or feelings of inadequacy that strain relationships.
Family Dynamics
Retirement often comes with changes in family dynamics, such as spending more time with grandchildren or becoming caregivers for elderly parents. These new responsibilities can alter the balance of the relationship.
Health Issues
As couples age, health concerns often arise, adding new pressures to the relationship. Partners may find themselves taking on caregiving roles, which can bring emotional and physical challenges but also deepen bonds through mutual support.
How do couples therefore navigate the changes that come with divorce and relationship strain later in life?
These ‘silver splitters’ divorces require some careful planning, open communication, and professional support.
Here’s some advice to help individuals manage this transition:
Consider Financial Planning
Understand Financial Implications: Divorce later in life can significantly impact retirement savings and financial security. Collaborate with a financial advisor to understand your new financial reality, including pension division, property settlements, and tax implications.
Update Legal Documents
Review and revise wills, powers of attorney, and beneficiary designations to reflect your new circumstances.
Maintain Open Communication
If children or family are involved, keep communication respectful and open. Older children may have strong emotional reactions, so it's important to discuss the changes calmly.
When negotiating with a former partner, prioritise collaboration where possible to reduce stress and conflict.
Legal Guidance
Work with experienced family law professionals to ensure your interests are protected during the divorce process, particularly when dealing with complex financial and property matters.
Divorce – and being on your own - is a huge change for some individuals that have been in a marriage for decades. As well as seeking financial guidance, it is extremely important to look after your wellbeing.
How can an individual help to ease the transition?
Start to build a Support Network. Connect with friends, family, and community groups for emotional and social support. A strong network can ease the transition and provide companionship.
Prepare for different dynamics. The transition to being single again can be challenging. Developing routines and engaging in social activities can help counter feelings of loneliness.
Focus on Health. Both physical and mental health are key during this period. Regular check-ups, staying active, and eating healthily can help mitigate the stress of the situation.
Are you facing challenges with your relationship since retirement? Do you need financial assistance, or help with pensions?
Next Steps: Get Expert Help